Real estate industry icon, Max the HomeGain Gorilla, recently had the good fortune to meet up with President Bush and President-elect Obama at their recent power transfer meeting at the White House.
Max was granted exclusive access to the two men for this interview.
Max: Gentlemen, could you explain your positions on the current economic crisis?
Obama : Yes we can.
Bush: Sure lil' critter.
Max: For starters, how do you select the companies to be bailed out?
Obama: We look at the largest and most mismanaged companies and than prioritize from there.
Bush: Hold on a sec there 'lil monkey.
Max: Mr. President, I am a gorilla.
Bush: Monkey? gorilla? what's the difference? the point I am making is we don't "bail out" companies. We refer to the economic assistance that we provide as "rescue packages"
Max: So there is some sort of prioritized criteria for selecting the companies that you provide rescue packages to.
Obama: Correct
Bush: And Barrack remember, the ones that donate to our campaigns
Obama: Those too.
Max: Instead of using tax payer money, could we get the companies that are doing well, say the oil companies, to pay for the rescue packages?
Obama:Absolutely not!!
Max: Why not?
Obama: That would be unfair.
Max: How so?
Obama: We can only tax private citizens, not corporations.
Bush: You see my 'lil chimp, the oil companies had nothing to do with the current crisis so they should not have to pay for the bailout.
Max: Mr. President I am a gorilla, and you said "bailout".
Bush: Are you trying to make a monkey out of me?
Max: No, but most of the taxpayers had nothing to do with the current crisis, so why should they be taxed?
Bush: I am missing your point.
Max: It was a question, Mr. President.
Bush (to Obama): Do you know what this one is getting at (pointing at Max)
Obama:I think he is saying he wants to be called a gorilla.
Bush: What did I call him?
Obama: A critter, a monkey and a chimp.
Max: May I ask another question?
Obama (smiling broadly): Please go ahead, Max, the HomeGain Gorilla.
Max: How does a company like HomeGain get on the list to get one of these rescue packages? My boss, the General Manager of HomeGain, Louis Cammarosano says he could use a multimillion dollar pay hike so he can buy a few beach front summer homes and he'd like to buy a fleet of HomeGain corporate jets and redo the executive suite.
Bush: The money from the rescue packages can not be spent for things like that.
Obama: You see, Max, the companies and their executives we are talking about already have those things.
Max: So what do they need the money for?
Obama: Try to look at it from a human's perspective.
Bush: Yeah, you're getting all gorilla on us and all.
Max: Can I ask a final question?
Bush: Ok , what the heck, I am out of here soon.
Max: How do you know that if you give a company a rescue package that they will not just waste it?
Obama: Max, we can hope they can change.
Max: Yes we can, Mr. President-elect, yes we can.
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